23 Mar 2020 21:32:33
*through each day as hard as it is.

{Ed001's Note - I have to say, Claire House are brilliant. I am so glad they were there to help you. I remember when they were raising the funds and my uncle did a non-stop joke telling world record for it. He broke the record, but one night Claire's dad was one of the adjudicators and I spent a long time just chatting with him. Such a nice guy and I am so glad he could achieve so much in her memory.

How about you now? Are you doing any better? It is the hardest thing in the world to cope with losing a child.}

1.) 24 Mar 2020
23 Mar 2020 23:59:13
Sorry to read about your loss - my heart and thoughts are with you.

Can’t imagine what you went through - you sound like a strong person. Hope you are ok and moving in the right direction.

2.) 24 Mar 2020
23 Mar 2020 22:34:01
That's amazing ed it is a special place I'm not really any better but I get through 1 day at a time it's really strange happy moments become sad like when we won the champions league last year I was happy for us but sobbing that my boy wasn't sat next to me it's the happiest of times that are the saddest how is everything your end mate.

{Ed001's Note - that is what you need to do though mate. You need to cry and let it out or it builds up.}

3.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 08:49:57
Thats amazing ed claire house is an amazing place they organise so much for us bereaved parents they have parent plus separate mum and dad group sessions a dads football session every month and constantly checking we are ok and if we needs anything

Thanks sy I'm not that strong just have people who depend on me hopefully someone reading this sees a bit of light in thier life I always hid the real dark thoughts I had which made things worse I feared if I spoke about what is really going on in my head I would be wrapped up and thrown into a padded room but it's not the case when I finally opened up to my councillors it was like getting your head out of water and taking a massive much needed breath now they joke with me about the "men in white coats" if we speak about dark thoughts talking is always better no matter how bad it is.

{Ed001's Note - I am really glad you linked up with them. They are brilliant and he was such a nice guy it broke my heart listening to him talk about his loss. I was still only a teenager myself at the time and it did really affect me hearing his story and made me rethink a lot of my life. The dad just wanted to help others as he did not have any help and I have a lot of admiration for him for what he has done.}

4.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 09:21:48
Hi Berg I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible loss, every parents worse nightmare bless you.
Certainly puts everything else into perspective.
My parents lost my sister quite a few years before I was born and although they never fully recovered from life's cruellest blow they did in time go on to find way to live life fully again, I remember my mum crying about my sister at times throughout my life but I also remember lots of happiness fun laughter as well as ups and downs like every other family.
My mum always told me about my dad never crying but simply looking after her and I can't ever remember my dad ever talking about my sister to anyone although me my mum and two other sisters quite often did.
It was only after my dad passed himself that I realised how he must have kept all his emotions inside and carried them alone which makes me feel so much for him and what he must have felt but kept hidden from everyone but himself, talking is most definitely the answer and fortunately we live in a much more emotionally evolved society today where we all accept that men most definitely do cry because crying is a human coping mechanism that serves a vital role in our Wellbeing.
God bless Berg mate and please keep talking because one of the truest things I've ever read is
If you replace the I in illness with WE you get wellness.
never a truer word said.

5.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 09:23:49
Definitely mate there is a lot of advertising of:
"If you need help seek help" with clare house the help is there always but outside of clare house in the real world help is only available if you have money to pay for it.

6.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 10:52:36
That unfortunately is true mate but as we are evolving we are coming to realise that mental health is every bit as important as physical health and in fact the two go hand in hand.
Once the penny finally drops for everyone that for every £1 we spend on helping with mental health in the early stages we save £100s if not £1000s on trying to fix both the mental and physical health problems that come from letting people struggle to long in the first place.
There is a very long way to go still but we are at least beginning to see things more clearly.
I saw on TV where a GP was offering group sessions where they could see 12 patients at a time after the initial one to one appointments and it was working really well with people gaining so much strength and confidence from each other and realising they were just like everyone else and just how ok it is to not always be ok.

7.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 13:05:51
Thanks gunner your dad must of been an amazing tough man (we call it wearing a mask in therapy what people see on the outside is not what's on the inside men perfect this which is necessary as people often distance themselves if you don't because you bring them down) I would of not been able to carry the burden all alone I have been so lucky in the support claire house have given me don't get me wrong I still hold a lot in and I go off by myself when I do need to let it all out because they can't cope thinking I am coping if they see me break it will add the the worry and anxiety they suffer with I really came out my shell since losing logan when I joined group therapys and they spoke about things I had been hiding which gave me the confidence to speak I only write these things to make awareness and to give someone else the confidence to talk instead of bottling g every thing up they say stress is like a dripping tap it not a problem untill the sink is blocked.

8.) 24 Mar 2020
24 Mar 2020 14:20:13
Hi Berg mate, I often wonder what my dad went through inside as you say behind his mask bless him, I think back in the day men were just expected to sort themselves out but maybe my dad did open up to my nan or grandad away from the rest of the world, I hope so. My reason for mentioning my mum and dad was to say how life did somehow come back together in many ways for them.
I think it's brilliant that you are sharing and by doing so you are definitely bring strength to others to maybe do the same.
I hope the more we all share the more anyone else who is struggling for any reason will find the strength to Join in should they want to either lighten their own mental rucksack or share tips that helped them through past struggles that might also help others now.
I think you are amazingly strong just for putting one foot in front of the other let alone all the other things you are achieving piece by piece Berg mate.

9.) 25 Mar 2020
25 Mar 2020 22:28:27
Thanks gunner stay safe mate.